February 25, 2010.
Married couples which are able to confront problems without reaching the point of filing for divorce, are never in the statistics. But a Catholic association called Retrouvaille, is credited with saving 100,000 married couples from divorce during the last 30 years.
Under the guide of Retrouvaille, those marriages that were able to overcome hardships were those that were able to help others.
“We’ve been able to find an alternative with Retrouville, in the sense that we don’t believe it’s true that at a certain point in a troubled marriage divorce is the only answer. It’s actually the opposite, there’s always a solution.”
“You do need the will power to do this, otherwise you can’t solve your problems. In fact, this is a way for you to get help from someone on the outside, because typically you see a marriage from a personal standpoint”.
Claudia and Andrea said their decision to separate was mainly because many of their marital problems went unresolved over the years. The root of many of them was the lack of communication that they say get worse once they had kids.
In fact, when many couples, because as in their case, decide to confront problem, they find themselves alone. The only solution offered by public institutions is divorce, which can take a toll on young children.
Many laws over the last couple of years have actually sped up the legal process and a judges ruling offers little or no permanent solutions to any married couple.
“It’s like everything is against you. There isn’t anyone or any institutions that can help. It’s all up to people of good faith and other married couples to get you through it, they’re heroes in a very hostile environment.”
“This type of attitude comes from the selfish attitude of mankind. It’s almost as though you think, ‘ I want to feel good, and if that means being away from you then that’s what I will do, because I want to have fun, I have to make my own life.”
Hundreds of marriages like Andrea’s and Claudia’s have shown that marital problems don’t have to lead to divorce, rather they can lead to a stronger relationship. For many it’s lead to a turning point, a point to get to know each other better and to love one another for who they are.