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Pope gives seven tips on how to argue in a marriage

2016-04-12

Throughout "Amoris Laetitiathe Pope gives very good advice for daily life of couples. For example, he proposes a good strategy when dealing with difficult situations.

He says that  when arguing, many disagreements between couples are not about important things. So, the key is in the way things are said or the attitude with which they are said. This is why, he proposes the following guidelines:

If hard feelings start to emerge, they should be dealt with sensitively, lest they interrupt the dynamic of dialogue. 

The ability to say what one is thinking without offending the other person is important. 

Words should be carefully chosen so as not to offend, especially when discussing difficult issues. 

Making a point should never involve venting anger and inflicting hurt. 

Avoid using a patronizing tone that only seeks hurt, ridicule, accuse and offend others. 

He also proposes that couples try to "develop the habit of giving real importance to the other person, try to peer into their hearts, to perceive their deepest concerns and to take them as a point of departure for further dialogue.”

And above all, give less weight to defects because "the other person is much more than the sum of the little things that annoy me. The fact that his/her love is imperfect does not mean that it is untrue or unreal.”

Another key proposal from the document is that "time is needed to talk things over, to embrace leisurely, to share plans, to listen to one other and gaze in each other’s eyes, to appreciate one another and to build a stronger relationship.”

In the list of practical advice, the Pope says that "it is always good to give each other "a morning kiss, an evening blessing, anticipating his/her arrival home by being unable to sleep until they get home, taking trips together and sharing household chores. Yet it also helps to break the routine with a party, and to enjoy family celebrations of anniversaries and special events.”


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