The regret and remorse that comes with transgender therapy: one woman's story

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When she was 18 years old, Daisy Strongin underwent a gender transition because she thought she wanted to become a man. 4 years later, she regrets it—and faces the irreversible impacts of that choice.

Daisy says her transition was sparked by depression, confusion surrounding her gender and excessive internet use—she even shared her own transition “journey” for thousands on social media.

I go by Ollie now. Because I am a female to male transgender. That is how I identify right now.

Directly following her high school graduation, Daisy underwent masculizing hormone therapy that can reduce estrogen production, create a deeper voice, more body hair and more muscle mass.

I've officially been through the first year of my second puberty. One year of testosterone injections once a week. And this is what I look like, this is what I sound like, this is who I am.

Two years later, Daisy had her breasts permanently removed. She had already changed her name, was dressing as a man and says she was finally perceived as a man in public.

There was sort of this high that came from it, that came from the control that I felt like I had over the way that other people saw me.

But when the COVID-19 pandemic hit, Daisy says the high she had from her gender changes began to wear off. But her depression and feeling of incompleteness lingered. And this confusion only grew as she felt drawn to motherhood and to Christianity—ultimately leading to what she says was a neccessary yet terrifying decision to de-transition.

And I was like, so terrified because I didn't know if I would be able to find a partner. Now, being a woman with a deep voice and no breasts, like just living my life as that was just very terrifying to me. And just like, sad and overwhelming. It's like. This is forever. Like these scars are forever. This voice is forever.

Her attempt to become a man remains evident in her daily life—even now as a wife and mother. Just moments after giving birth to her second child—and having the inability to breastfeed—Daisy wrote, “If only I could somehow go back in time to 2018 and show myself these photos. Those are are not happy tears.” But despite these struggles, Daisy did not lose hope.

With their children in mind, Daisy and her husband pursued their interest in Christianity. After visiting various protestant churches, they were ultimately attracted to Catholicism.

Daisy and her family were received into the Catholic Church last year. And while she says she still has a long way to go in rebuilding her life, she continues to share her story in the hope it may help others not to make the same mistake she did.


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